Filling the void

It is sad to sometimes feel that I have to “sell” a worthy cause of loving others and to recognize your neighbors. I think that many of the people that look at the extremist lovers think we are only about inner city poor, and think we are glamorous rock stars fighting for a worthy cause. I wish the latter part would be true just because I feel like some would begin to really listen, but we aren’t. Most of us are just people who are tired of saying, tired of the same old thing, and tired of people not being able to live life of joy and hope.

I am in search of trying to figure out how to pass on the redemption of Christ, that sets us free from condemnation, and the worry of today. Everyone needs to hear about the love God has for us in the Old and New Testament. A life of regulation, compassion, justice, acceptance, and love. I have been called to the scary places where there is a lot of violence, but I know there is worse. I know that sometimes suburbia terrifies me sometimes, but they have just as many issues as inner city poor. The system is broken all over the place, and most of us “ordinary radicals” just want to help people feel empowered to chase God’s heart, to drop everything and follow Him. Where you’re passion meets God’s calling in your life is what you are supposed to figure out. Many of us are asleep to awaking to the riches of God’s glory because it is daunting to take a leap into unpredictability in chasing after God’s heart.

It all starts with baby steps, but you have got to move! Go serve someone. Go! Spend time outside of the walls you are confined in most of the day and meet people. These are your neighbors. Go expose yourself to others, share your life with people you do not know. Buy them coffee, bring them cookies, just say hi and find out what they do.

Everyone is dying for community, meaning, and purpose. They just need to be shown the way. Are you going to invite them in? That requires you talking to them. Everyone is talking about the effects of the information age, and saying that we are more connected than ever. Are we really, divorce rates have increased, there is a lot of miscommunication, there is a lot more relationships to manage. There is still the same amount of time in a day, and more relationships to deal with. How thin are you going to spread out? Are you neglecting your immediate neighbors?

Where ever you are, live a life filled with Christ bringing the hope of glory to your neighbors around you. Jesus never gathered the masses, but he met them outside the walls and on other peoples property.

Just in case I Die.

There in an ever present reality of the possibility of getting shot or something crazy happening to me as I exist on the earth that God has filled with great beauty. I feel like there is an odd intensity arising in the neighborhood. I am not sure what it is from, or what to think about it at the moment. There has been a lot of shootings and murders lately just a handful of blocks away from the house.

While a friend was down here, and as I showed him around the neighborhood, we received a little bit of hostility. This has been the first time that it has been a bit aggressive. The reality of it all is that this aggressiveness exists in the neighborhood, and that many have accepted it as normal life. There are a few who are tougher and will challenge some injustice, but most let it slide. I am boggled by the fear and scariness of the potential of being in a volatile situation that could result in my demise. In the end my neighbors, friends, and I need help. The aggressors need to be shown love in great and profound ways, as well as ways out of the cycle. The movement of love, peace, hope, and reconciliation in Christ. It should not fade in the event of calamity. It is the prime time for grace to be shown abundantly and for light to prevail in dark circumstances.

In all, love abundantly, give abundantly, and do not be afraid to hurt a little. My life has been wonderful, and amazing so far, and I do not regret a bit of it. I have lived life to the full, and hope to continuously do so until I die. We are called to bring hope to the world, and we cannot do that in fear. The dark will not shut us out.
It is my wish that my work started, and the people inspired, are to continue to be the hands and feet of Christ Jesus, to the rough and scary places of the world. At the least, just please get to know your true neighbors and share life’s hurts and pains with them.

Chris Jones, Jean please be ready.

Hopefully I will, get to read this, and that we will get to talk about it when I am old and gray haired with a fu-manchu. However many crazy radicals don’t get the chance to live that long.

If you could see what I see

Why is this road, so long and narrow?
Why does my heart cry?

Your people surround me, and my soul gets crippled.
People that bear the cross, sometimes cease to see.
Your beauty is all around us, we often don’t see it right by our side.

My neighbor doesn’t walk like me, talk like me, live like me, but I see beauty in him.
I see beauty in him!

God is before us, waiting for us to recognize him.

He wants to live with us, work with us, shop with us, spend with us, dine with us, walk with us, scream with us, cry with us, hurt with us.

There is no place with us, that He should be absent.

Christ behind me, Christ before me, Christ beside me, Christ is in me.

He is with me when I awake, He is with me all day.

He tells me stories when I am asleep.

Though he is there, I am scared, I am fearful, and I hurt, not for myself but for others.

The injustices i’ve created by some of my American Dream habits.

The loneliness of standing out from the crowd.

My walls crumble, and I am broken.

explicit topic: SEX

So It has been interesting living immersed within urban inner city culture. Seeing some of the stark contrasts in the way the community lives and life according to Christ. Often at work I get picked on for desiring to live for Christ and being a believer in abstinence and waiting to have sex until marriage. They often make it seem that sex is a must have interaction in the immediacies of life. I sometimes forget why exactly I am waiting, and sometimes just need to be reminded of the issues of sexuality, and physical intimacy. I am always excited when churches seek to talk about explicit issues such as this. My friends at Trinity Vineyard had a forum type of discussion about it a week ago. Check out their town hall recap, and list of resources.

http://www.trinityvineyard.org/articles/Town%20Hall%20on%20the%20topic%20of%20sex

Be blessed

Fathering the Fatherless

Well, everyday that I get to spend in the neighborhood my brain expanded a little bit more to the unknown issues and injustices within the neighborhood. Today, I had a neighborhood kid, Roger that waited for me all morning to get back home from church. He’s an awesome kid, and just wants someone to invest in him. He left with some other friends around 4 pm, and they showed up again 5 pm.

When they arrived the spirit in the air was not happy, something was up. Roger ran inside, and sat at my kitchen table. He buried his head into his arms. 2 other friends came up to the door. They seemed tense about the whole thing as well. I knew bad feelings were in the air. I was kind of in bewilderment about what was happening, and started to question what was going on. I asked the eldest kid, and he denied anything happened. The youngest ran out the door and came back with a big chunk of a cinder block and said, “ He threw this at us.” I felt disappointed in Roger, but knew that couldn’t be the whole story. I asked why he did that, and found out that the eldest was tried to hold Roger in place so that the youngest could hit him.
I asked the eldest if this was true a few times, and got a negative response, and eventually he confessed to it all. It was like pulling teeth. They apologized and walked away somberly.

It was a bit weird to somewhat have this relationship with some of the neighborhood youth in this manner. It is like I am their father. I am a place of comfort and trust with them. It’s beautiful, I want to be able to do so much more for them but its tough because they are not my kids. My heart wants to provide for these kids, and to father these boys into growing men. I am fearful that they will be forced to move away, or that I will not have the time/budget for them.

I need a wife too, I am sure there are girls in the neighborhood as well that are probably having similar issues as many of these boys.

Halloween Injustice! Broken hearts

So today was halloween, it is obviously a day get decked out in a costume and be really awkward as a sober adult. This afternoon, I was working in the yard trying to set up my raised garden beds for fall crops and my neighborhood kids came to hang out, they are all about 9 years old. Yesterday they helped me a ton by spreading out cardboard and newspaper on the surface of the ground so weeds wont grow through. After I finished loading the beds with dirt at about 5 pm the kids, Anthony, Stephen, Roger, and I went inside the house and made some food. We had Bok Choy, smoked sausage and some Dirty Rice. It has been a blast getting to hang out with these kids, and its fun to teach them things they aren’t going to learn in school.

After we ate it was starting to get dark so I went and put on my costume. I was a big fuzzy Tigger, a costume I made about 6 years ago. I grabbed Eavie, my dog, a pillowsack , and headed out the door to wait to gather the kids. This begins our Halloween adventure, or flop.

New Orleans within the city is a tough place to trick-or-treat there was maybe 1 house on a block that gave out candy. (my neighbors across the street gave out candy for me) We eventually made a choice to walk in the Garden District side of St. Charles, It’s the nice side. We meandered around, and stumbled upon a very active party that was for people in the Garden District Association, www.gardendistrictassociation.com. It seemed like a happening place, except for if you were a black kid! As we walked closer to the event, my kids saw kids playing football. They got a bit excited, and as we got closer they found a gate that they could open and enter discretely through the back. I stood outside the fence because of my dog, and didn’t find any harm in my kids sneaking in to play football with the other kids, that were all white. My kids jumped right in, and the other guys seemed totally accepting of it. They played a little rough, “soft tackle”, I thought that it was ok, and that I played like that when I was a kid. Everything was going great, I was afraid that one of my kids would start talking trash, or fighting, but they just played along with the other kids. I was surprised and very proud of them. Then came along an adult that realized that there were some kids that were obviously not from the neighborhood. It seemed they they automatically had a stigma that they must be bad kids. They asked if they were with me, and I claimed responsibility, and we left.

I am quite disturbed by the whole thing. It’s just tough to see kids get along so well, but adults often ruin the party. My neighborhood kids need the exposure to that different culture/lifestyle. They won’t probably get to partake in many events like that because the yuppie adults are afraid of my hood kids, that can play well with others. My kids are smart, charming, hilarious, and they are black. I am chinese. We will stick out like a sore thumb anywhere.

My heart was also broken again shortly after we left the “yuppie white folk party,” and headed back to our neighborhood, two blocks past the Garden District border street. As we somewhat split ways, I walked with Stephen he went toward a house with a hand full of people out in front of it. He was asking for candy, but along his way an older guy started to converse with him. I couldn’t tell what he was saying but it just didn’t feel good. We walked to the house next door, and talked to 2 old ladies that Stephen knew. We had to walk back by the guy that was being confrontational with Stephen, the man started to threaten him, and started to be mean to him. The guy just told him that he is a bad boy, and that he is going to beat him up. Stephen actually stayed with the issue, and put his hands up to fight. I told him to put his hands down, and asked this way older guy, 17ish, “Why the heck are you picking on such a little kid, you know he cant do anything to you?”

The guy said, “His brothers jumped me!”
In my response I questioned why he would take it out on such a little kid that had nothing to do with the situation. And why do you want to destroy such a little kids life, you’re supposed to encourage them, and love on them. Not destroy them and put fear in their hearts. You have to offer them hope, and be positive. The guy kept saying that Stephen was a bad kid, repeatedly, Now I realize that it is no wonder many of these kids don’t turn out well. It is going to be a tough challenge to help change the attitude of my neighbors about these friends of mine that I have the privilege of hanging out with. I wish I could spend move time with them.

Epicenter of affection

My neighbors consume my life, my heart beats for the safety and well being of my beloved friends whether they are good or bad. The line of justice is in tension, and my brain is overwhelmed. What do I do with drug dealers that are friends of friends, or drug dealers that allow Mrs. Betty to make her house payment. How do I create jobs that would entice a dealer to not sell drugs but to come work with me and run my business. How do we begin to understand that we are really simple human beings without a whole lot of needs. How does a little man like me get to be a part of such a big thing. Why do I get to meet urban planners, and begin to really live a life of risk in hopes of healing injustice and oppression. What a joy it is to attempt to empower, and restore lives in a beaten down neighborhood. When will we cease to neglect our neighbors, that we live next to and show them love. I have a dream and it scares me.​​​

Everyday, I am blessed to see my neighbors and friends love and care for one another. Today I arrived home, during my mid day transition, to Turk cutting Twopop’s hair. For some reason after I went inside and was about to depart again Twopop was sitting on the stoop with this patch of hair on the back of his head. It was a hilarious sight and I could not stop laughing. Eventually Turk emerged with a razor to finish making Twopop bald. ​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

ATL and Catalyst Reflections

Well, I have spent the past few days in Atlanta for Catalyst and to spend time with some old friends. It was a fairly good and refreshing time. I feel that my brain is filled with so much that I am immobilized now. I am now just trying to process and focus on a few of the greatest things that I can begin to work on.
        It was interesting to hear about people talking about leadership, and to be reaffirmed in many of my perceptions. One is that our character/leadership ideals must be consistent in all spheres of life whether at home, work, or at the bar. Another is that one characteristic that is normal within leaders is rule breaking. I have always somewhat defied tradition in hopes of representing authenticity and freshness. This makes me realize though that, I am getting older and I too will soon be out of touch with the younger generation so I must begin to replicate myself and empower those younger than me to be the next great leader.
        I was also able to help a friend of mine(Erin Lee you Rock! ) that works for a great coffee company, Land of A Thousand Hills, that is pretty much a dream in which I would love to replicate in Indonesia. I wish my brain functioned a bit better so that I could pull that off.
        Time in Atlanta was also great just for the sad reminder that there are some really amazing women out there that are a lot more courageous that some of us guys, but it at least gives me hope that there is a girl out there that would want to join my adventure in the craziness of New Orleans

What am I doing?

So yesterday was a crazy weird busy good day. I drove in circles around the city atleast 3 times yesterday, which felt so bad. The seminary I goto received Hurricane relief food, and they distributed it out on thursday and had a bunch left over, and I was able to take a bunch of it. To deliver to my neighbors in the neighborhood. It was awesome. I got to catch up with people in the neighborhood that I haven’t conversed with in a long time. It was good to reconnect with some and find out that they still remembered the time when I boiled Crawfish in the neighborhood. Now I need to get back to working on my paper thats due on monday so peace out for now

Striking the cultural nerve!

“The challenge is to critique our culture with the Bible and not vice versa.”
Duvall and Hays _Grasping God’s Word.

        Today I have read about context, particularly about the context and baggage that we bring to things. Like how we often want to bring America to the Bible and not Bible to America. What I read today was a great expounding of thoughts I was already formulating but had no clue as to how to put it to words. They talked about stories like Jonah and the whale, and how we often think Jonah is inside some big belly cave. This is totally false though, well I believe it is though. I imagine the belly of a whale, to be mushy and abrasive and pretty confining and constricting. The authors of this book thinks the idea of Jonah in a big belly of a whale stems possibly from childhood memories of seeing Pinocchio sitting inside a whale.

        So I have been sorting through many ideals, and cultural norms of american life through my brain for the past couple of years. I have begun to critique a lot of our american standard thoughts and traditions and sifted them through a filter of the Bible. I feel like Irresistible Revolution has also played a role in this thought process, as Shane Claiborne challenged many many aspects of life in which we as americans feel content with. Many Christians are starting to question justification of war. If we are against abortion, can we be pro war in which many suffer and die.

Another is Romans 13. If we are to submit to our authorities, why are we so reluctant to pay, taxes, rent, bills, and or respect to those that we owe it.

        Duvall and Hays bring up the notion that people get pretty steamed up about challenges to their train of thought. In particular, they questioned whether the American Revolution is justified biblically because it was a blatant disrespect to authority. They hoped that there would be some inner emotional reaction within reading of a normal biblical text. They suggest that we should ask ourself “ Why did I react so strongly?”

        Duvall and Hays weren’t even trying to really challenge the thoughts of the American Revolution, but to help us be awakened to the many ideas that we accept as standard, in which they may not be biblically just. The response to being challenged over our traditional ideas is often to become defensive and get riled up instead of introspectively looking at Why something stirs us so deep, and questioning if our thought is biblically sound.

Our culture should never dictate the Word of God,

“We often become closed-minded to any understanding of the Bible that conflicts with the status quo of our culture.”

I often feel like a prick to always bring about hard questions, and judgments to the status quo of culture, but I feel it is a necessary trait that we need to start picking up. Many always talk about us buying into the lies of the world, however there are very few that try to figure out what lies they believe.

Back in NOLA - Gravity of Sorrows

So the past week has been tough. Evacuation, anxiety, confusion, close quarters. We are back! We arrived on Wednesday in the dark and cruised around the eerie dark streets. We rolled into the dark city to my truck, and found it unharmed and unmoved. I was relieved. We then came home and unpacked the car some and took off the panel that I blocked the door with. While settling back in with no electricity I realized that I had left a crucial box up at the farm house. The box contained all my school books.

        So we have been without power up until yesterday afternoon, friday afternoon. I have been unsuccessful at getting work done in the one school book that I have. The rest of my books will hopefully be arriving today with my other housemate. I feel the pressure of school, work, and bills getting to me. It’s getting a bit hard for me to manage my time. I am grateful for having good employers, and housemates. I have become very much of a hermit by nature, I like to spend time at home sitting in quiet and reflecting.
        
        I just watched the movie Transporter, not that great of a movie, and the main character doesn’t often say much and is yet still a very strong character. He enjoys quietness to think, and He silently knows a lot by instinct. We have a flaw though in transferring knowledge, I think that sometimes I think its too much trouble to get someone else to understand what is going on, and just give up and stay recluse. Inside I deeply want someone to take part in my life helping piece together the fragments of my mind and building “us” into being able to do more than 2 people.

        So in the above paragraph, at the end I was really thinking in terms of a significant other, and now I am thinking of people in general. I know that God has gifted us deeply and very differently, but I wonder if the depth at which we think is all apart of the mystery of it all. I hope it is, we often say the “older the wiser” and I partially wonder if thats true. I check out some of my friends brains, actions, trends and progressions, and sometimes am not too impressed. Yes this can just mean that I just have a very big head, and even if that is true I am ok with that, as long as I want to see others think better than I do. I feel like some people always wander around aimlessly wanting to become something, whether you give a weak, surface, ambiguous answer like, “I want to serve Christ,” or the american high school standard of “I want to make a lot of money!” I think there are people that are older that still respond with those same answers their whole life. To me that doesn’t show a lot of progression, and might just show that they aren’t that much wiser, because they haven’t come close to meeting their goal. God has given us very big, awesome, intricate brains to think very powerfully with, and the only kind of things we often think are ambiguous. I fall into this trap sometimes, and it just pushes me to think harder. The American life sells us so many ambiguous lies as to what success is often drowning out dreams and ambitions that make us feel worth something. These lies are often shown with some truth, but the truth on how to get there isn’t spoon fed to us like we think it is going to be. Dreams take work to get to, and often it takes work just to find out your dreams. Take joy in pain, hurt, and sorrow because Christ can use it all to redefine who you are in Him.

        Help empower others to do the things that you can, and learn how do to things from people that know more than you. Ladies, let your man learn how to cook, and be at least somewhat neat, clean, and tidy. And may the Lord help me with that as well!

Headed out! Fleeing GUSTAV!!!!!

To all my friends, and people that worry about me. For those of you so
very concerned about the possibility of me staying, you can be
relieved since I am now in Huntsville, Alabama staying at a farm house
with my roomate Josiah. Eavie my dog is here as well, and we are
possibly waiting on a family that lives 2 houses down. I feel that
this family will probably not rendevouz with us here, but will
probably opt to stay at a hotel or something in Huntsville.

Today we woke up and Josiah went to check on 2 of his co-workers on
the Westbank to see if they needed rides, he knocked on their door but
did not answer. At that point I decided that I was going to ride with
Josiah since I needed to read for a class I am taking. We left around
10 with minimal traffic. My house is all boarded up and things are
tied down. Almost all of my neighbors have left or were planning on
leaving, so I felt at ease to leave. I parked my truck on a street
that did not flood during Katrina, and my house should be ok and not
flood.

The thought of the storm creates a lot of anxiety. There are many of
us who leave life and things behind, hoping that things dont get
destroyed. This is very much of a time of dependence on Christ and
trusting in him and being able to see that all things can be used
toward His glory whether things are hard or easy. I am worried about
my truck, we almost turned around at 5 hours out to go back so I can
move it! We didn't though and now I slightly worry about it, If it
goes though it will be ok I know the Lord will provide. I just don't
want to tell my parents. For some reason I haven't grown out of that
part of become a small man of adult that I am.

Parting pictures, in preparation for Gustav

So today, I was at work for a little bit, and then they dismissed us
early. This was a blessing because I needed to board up my windows,
and also read a lot. I have a book test on Sunday, in which I am
behind, and preparing for the storm does not help. Here are some pics
of whats happening as of a few hours ago. I will probably take some
other pictures tomorrow. I have also decided to head on out, as
almost all of my neighbors are departing so I feel more at ease about
leaving. Some of which I believe are actually coming with us tomorrow.

Breaking down barriers: My beautiful neighbors

So everyone is at wits in contemplating the possibilities of Gustav. I am in that mix tossing between do I stay or do I go. I still haven't decided yet. I have almost gotten to the point of letting my neighbors decide for me. If any of my neighbors stay, I really want to stay here for them, and to go through the storm with them. I know there are ones that are headed out tomorrow toward some unknown destination at the moment. For the ones that don't know where they are headed, I hope to offer them a place to stay with my roomates that will probably evacuate tomorrow. As for me I am still undecided

So here is the story of today, that I figured I must share.
Today I arrived at home, let the dog out, and went out to go shoot the breeze and talk to my neighbors about their Hurricane Gustav plans. I went to check on my neighbor Edwin, who has a wife and a two year old daughter. He was washing his car, and another neighbor had just left from conversing with him. Edwin and his wife are Filipino, and his family, and possibly one other family live on his side of a block caddy corner to mine. We are kind of the typical oddball Asians in a predominately African American neighborhood, however I am more of an extrovert and over the top.

While we were conversing our other neighbor, Calvin came back by and for some reason I thought of asking him if he would like to pick up a job helping me install a fence. I didn't ask Edwin because he usually has to watch his daughter, because his wife has to work and someone needs to watch the baby. Calvin mentioned that he was already helping out some other person and that he wasn't available.

Calvin said, " What about him!" and points at Edwin.
Edwin responded, "Yeah! What about me!"
Calvin responds, "Give it to him!"
I said, "Ok, I have a fencing job to work on after the storm stuff."

I eventually learned that Edwin can do work on the weekends, when his wife can watch the baby. So I thought that it was wonderful that one neighbor would pass up a job and push it to someone else.

Earlier this week, I also found employment for another neighbor of mine in which he will go through an environmental science workforce program and get a few certifications to make him more employable in the environmental science world.

This side of my life is pretty exciting to me so far, I hope to be able to establish some system or type of business to employ people and treat them well.

Should I stay or Should I Go NOW!!

So there is hurricane Gustav coming! I am unsure of what I am going to do now.
Part of me would like to flee, but is that too safe for me? How do we, and how should we react as leaders of the church.

I have thought of a series of questions?

What is our perception of destruction?
I feel like I often view things radically different than the normal. I don't see the ugly head of destruction, instead I see beauty, strength, creation, and the complexities, and irregularities of life. I see a chance to take part in a restoration process that is not selfish but of pure love.

Why do we flee?
We flee for, our safety. Our, a word meaning I and you disturbs me. I know who I am, but our defines some sect of people, but not everyone. I think when I say our, it's me and my small circle of people I revolve around. As a believer in Christ I believe that God has called us to place the needs of others before myself. The poor and the needy, are the least likely to flee, so what am I to do? How should the Church represent in the midst of destruction. I have not been through a hurricane before I do not have the experience, and even if I had I hope that Christ would not let me be fearful of it.

Why do we not want it to hit New Orleans(us)?
The typical response, "Pray that it doesn't hit us!" This statement inherently gives the impression that we are somehow better than any other place. It's almost the same as the conflict between the ideas of being anti-abortion and pro-war. I choose to fight against death of little kids, but I am ok with killing those other people. Who am I to say that I am better, or have more value than someone. God has created us with equal value.

Here we go!

So this is my first blog its not that exciting. I started Seminary this week, its going to be tough when my jobs start, I want to make sure there is enough time for me to learn and process but i am not sure if that will happen with the jobs i need to pay the bills and house note.

Funny story, well... funny to me atleast. I was cooking out for a lot of people at the house the other day, and a neighbor came by to get some food. On his way out we both stepped outside the door, and saw a guy, a block down, shoot at someone or something 3 times down the street. Then he took off running toward my house and up the street. Mean while me and my neighbor stood there. I was bewildered and looked at him for some kind of affirmation of what to do, but he stood just as bug-eyed in amazement as me. It was quite interesting. He went home with some food, I went in and called the cops.

I was also told that i have the gift of prophesy today, because i made a statement of i am driven to make people feel awkward. I also like to help people !