Back in NOLA - Gravity of Sorrows

So the past week has been tough. Evacuation, anxiety, confusion, close quarters. We are back! We arrived on Wednesday in the dark and cruised around the eerie dark streets. We rolled into the dark city to my truck, and found it unharmed and unmoved. I was relieved. We then came home and unpacked the car some and took off the panel that I blocked the door with. While settling back in with no electricity I realized that I had left a crucial box up at the farm house. The box contained all my school books.

        So we have been without power up until yesterday afternoon, friday afternoon. I have been unsuccessful at getting work done in the one school book that I have. The rest of my books will hopefully be arriving today with my other housemate. I feel the pressure of school, work, and bills getting to me. It’s getting a bit hard for me to manage my time. I am grateful for having good employers, and housemates. I have become very much of a hermit by nature, I like to spend time at home sitting in quiet and reflecting.
        
        I just watched the movie Transporter, not that great of a movie, and the main character doesn’t often say much and is yet still a very strong character. He enjoys quietness to think, and He silently knows a lot by instinct. We have a flaw though in transferring knowledge, I think that sometimes I think its too much trouble to get someone else to understand what is going on, and just give up and stay recluse. Inside I deeply want someone to take part in my life helping piece together the fragments of my mind and building “us” into being able to do more than 2 people.

        So in the above paragraph, at the end I was really thinking in terms of a significant other, and now I am thinking of people in general. I know that God has gifted us deeply and very differently, but I wonder if the depth at which we think is all apart of the mystery of it all. I hope it is, we often say the “older the wiser” and I partially wonder if thats true. I check out some of my friends brains, actions, trends and progressions, and sometimes am not too impressed. Yes this can just mean that I just have a very big head, and even if that is true I am ok with that, as long as I want to see others think better than I do. I feel like some people always wander around aimlessly wanting to become something, whether you give a weak, surface, ambiguous answer like, “I want to serve Christ,” or the american high school standard of “I want to make a lot of money!” I think there are people that are older that still respond with those same answers their whole life. To me that doesn’t show a lot of progression, and might just show that they aren’t that much wiser, because they haven’t come close to meeting their goal. God has given us very big, awesome, intricate brains to think very powerfully with, and the only kind of things we often think are ambiguous. I fall into this trap sometimes, and it just pushes me to think harder. The American life sells us so many ambiguous lies as to what success is often drowning out dreams and ambitions that make us feel worth something. These lies are often shown with some truth, but the truth on how to get there isn’t spoon fed to us like we think it is going to be. Dreams take work to get to, and often it takes work just to find out your dreams. Take joy in pain, hurt, and sorrow because Christ can use it all to redefine who you are in Him.

        Help empower others to do the things that you can, and learn how do to things from people that know more than you. Ladies, let your man learn how to cook, and be at least somewhat neat, clean, and tidy. And may the Lord help me with that as well!