Dinner for 2 please

Sometimes I just get tired of what I am doing and want to just settle for a comfy life working the standard american dream. My brain and my heart is hurting at the moment for just an ounce of support other than just mere words. It has recently been really tough trying to do ministry in the neighborhood because I have to work like crazy, and study, and make ends meet. I know that I probably make close to the average income for my neighborhood, which is not a whole lot.

The other day when I went and worked out at the school I weighed in at 135 lbs. Which isn’t a whole lot for being 5ft 10in. I was quite stunned, because I have weighed 145lbs since 8th grade. This peaked my interest, and made me think about what I eat, how often, and what I want to eat. I usually eat at home, because its the cheapest thing to do. I try to eat a variety, but the cheapest things are usually forms of starches and fiber.

This month I am starting to have to be ridiculously tight on my budget, and cannot spend a whole lot of money at all, because of car payment, car insurance, taxes, health insurance, tuition. My budget has been destroyed for the month. So it looks like every meal will have to come out of my cupboard of mysterious foods I have left in there.

I am not sure if I have any problem with this, well yes I do. It’s makes me sad because I have neighborhood kids that come and hang out and have dinner and I can’t feed them well. It’s also tough because I want to take them places that they haven’t experienced, like to the mountains, museums, and parks. Anthony asked me the other day when we were going to get Chinese food again, and I can’t tell him when. After our first time out, he learned how to use chopsticks. He now eats with them almost every time he eats at the house, its beautiful.

It also gets tough when I hear of people talking about different restaurants and their greatness. I just get sad, because I can’t relate. It’s tough for me to justify feeding myself for one meal, when I can feed 2 more kids if I cooked.