Back in NOLA - Gravity of Sorrows

So the past week has been tough. Evacuation, anxiety, confusion, close quarters. We are back! We arrived on Wednesday in the dark and cruised around the eerie dark streets. We rolled into the dark city to my truck, and found it unharmed and unmoved. I was relieved. We then came home and unpacked the car some and took off the panel that I blocked the door with. While settling back in with no electricity I realized that I had left a crucial box up at the farm house. The box contained all my school books.

        So we have been without power up until yesterday afternoon, friday afternoon. I have been unsuccessful at getting work done in the one school book that I have. The rest of my books will hopefully be arriving today with my other housemate. I feel the pressure of school, work, and bills getting to me. It’s getting a bit hard for me to manage my time. I am grateful for having good employers, and housemates. I have become very much of a hermit by nature, I like to spend time at home sitting in quiet and reflecting.
        
        I just watched the movie Transporter, not that great of a movie, and the main character doesn’t often say much and is yet still a very strong character. He enjoys quietness to think, and He silently knows a lot by instinct. We have a flaw though in transferring knowledge, I think that sometimes I think its too much trouble to get someone else to understand what is going on, and just give up and stay recluse. Inside I deeply want someone to take part in my life helping piece together the fragments of my mind and building “us” into being able to do more than 2 people.

        So in the above paragraph, at the end I was really thinking in terms of a significant other, and now I am thinking of people in general. I know that God has gifted us deeply and very differently, but I wonder if the depth at which we think is all apart of the mystery of it all. I hope it is, we often say the “older the wiser” and I partially wonder if thats true. I check out some of my friends brains, actions, trends and progressions, and sometimes am not too impressed. Yes this can just mean that I just have a very big head, and even if that is true I am ok with that, as long as I want to see others think better than I do. I feel like some people always wander around aimlessly wanting to become something, whether you give a weak, surface, ambiguous answer like, “I want to serve Christ,” or the american high school standard of “I want to make a lot of money!” I think there are people that are older that still respond with those same answers their whole life. To me that doesn’t show a lot of progression, and might just show that they aren’t that much wiser, because they haven’t come close to meeting their goal. God has given us very big, awesome, intricate brains to think very powerfully with, and the only kind of things we often think are ambiguous. I fall into this trap sometimes, and it just pushes me to think harder. The American life sells us so many ambiguous lies as to what success is often drowning out dreams and ambitions that make us feel worth something. These lies are often shown with some truth, but the truth on how to get there isn’t spoon fed to us like we think it is going to be. Dreams take work to get to, and often it takes work just to find out your dreams. Take joy in pain, hurt, and sorrow because Christ can use it all to redefine who you are in Him.

        Help empower others to do the things that you can, and learn how do to things from people that know more than you. Ladies, let your man learn how to cook, and be at least somewhat neat, clean, and tidy. And may the Lord help me with that as well!

Breaking down barriers: My beautiful neighbors

So everyone is at wits in contemplating the possibilities of Gustav. I am in that mix tossing between do I stay or do I go. I still haven't decided yet. I have almost gotten to the point of letting my neighbors decide for me. If any of my neighbors stay, I really want to stay here for them, and to go through the storm with them. I know there are ones that are headed out tomorrow toward some unknown destination at the moment. For the ones that don't know where they are headed, I hope to offer them a place to stay with my roomates that will probably evacuate tomorrow. As for me I am still undecided

So here is the story of today, that I figured I must share.
Today I arrived at home, let the dog out, and went out to go shoot the breeze and talk to my neighbors about their Hurricane Gustav plans. I went to check on my neighbor Edwin, who has a wife and a two year old daughter. He was washing his car, and another neighbor had just left from conversing with him. Edwin and his wife are Filipino, and his family, and possibly one other family live on his side of a block caddy corner to mine. We are kind of the typical oddball Asians in a predominately African American neighborhood, however I am more of an extrovert and over the top.

While we were conversing our other neighbor, Calvin came back by and for some reason I thought of asking him if he would like to pick up a job helping me install a fence. I didn't ask Edwin because he usually has to watch his daughter, because his wife has to work and someone needs to watch the baby. Calvin mentioned that he was already helping out some other person and that he wasn't available.

Calvin said, " What about him!" and points at Edwin.
Edwin responded, "Yeah! What about me!"
Calvin responds, "Give it to him!"
I said, "Ok, I have a fencing job to work on after the storm stuff."

I eventually learned that Edwin can do work on the weekends, when his wife can watch the baby. So I thought that it was wonderful that one neighbor would pass up a job and push it to someone else.

Earlier this week, I also found employment for another neighbor of mine in which he will go through an environmental science workforce program and get a few certifications to make him more employable in the environmental science world.

This side of my life is pretty exciting to me so far, I hope to be able to establish some system or type of business to employ people and treat them well.

Should I stay or Should I Go NOW!!

So there is hurricane Gustav coming! I am unsure of what I am going to do now.
Part of me would like to flee, but is that too safe for me? How do we, and how should we react as leaders of the church.

I have thought of a series of questions?

What is our perception of destruction?
I feel like I often view things radically different than the normal. I don't see the ugly head of destruction, instead I see beauty, strength, creation, and the complexities, and irregularities of life. I see a chance to take part in a restoration process that is not selfish but of pure love.

Why do we flee?
We flee for, our safety. Our, a word meaning I and you disturbs me. I know who I am, but our defines some sect of people, but not everyone. I think when I say our, it's me and my small circle of people I revolve around. As a believer in Christ I believe that God has called us to place the needs of others before myself. The poor and the needy, are the least likely to flee, so what am I to do? How should the Church represent in the midst of destruction. I have not been through a hurricane before I do not have the experience, and even if I had I hope that Christ would not let me be fearful of it.

Why do we not want it to hit New Orleans(us)?
The typical response, "Pray that it doesn't hit us!" This statement inherently gives the impression that we are somehow better than any other place. It's almost the same as the conflict between the ideas of being anti-abortion and pro-war. I choose to fight against death of little kids, but I am ok with killing those other people. Who am I to say that I am better, or have more value than someone. God has created us with equal value.